Reaching out
by Sarrabr4
Summary: Based off of episode 7x14. Delving through Burzek's feelings post miscarriage.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

**A/N: Alright so this story is based off of episode 7x14, more specifically the scene at the beginning with Adam and Kim as well as the one with Voight later in the episode. I wanted to show their head spaces and how Adam dealt with it because so far, we've seen more of Kim's struggle than Adam's.**

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Adam let Kim walk at her own pace as they walked towards the elevators. He held flowers and her bag as she pressed on the down button.

"Look, you should go to work." Her face was covered in bruises and it hurt Adam even more to hear her say that. "I'm pretty sure the bad guys aren't taking a day off because I had a miscarriage." The elevator doors opened and Adam stood there stunned, Kim walked in, Adam close behind once his feet started moving again, his voice lost on him. "I feel I just need some space." Adam looked at her and he wanted to object but he didn't.

"Let me drop you at home at least."

"Okay. The elevator and car ride were spent in silence, with Adam getting occasional glances at Kim but she kept her eyes trained outside. He wished she'd let him in, do it together from now on like she had claimed in her living room that night but now she was hurting and pushing him away. The car came to a stop and Kim got out, Adam right behind her, ready to help her up and settled. "I'm good Adam." Adam was stunned into place. She was really putting a wall around herself again.

"Call me if you need anything." He offered but only received a smile, knowing she wouldn't. He watched her go inside just to settle himself but it didn't do anything alleviate what he was feeling inside. He got back in the driver's seat and made his way to the 21st, his mind heavy with all sorts of things. He bumped into Rojas on his way in from the back of the building.

"How's Kim?" She walked the pace with him.

"She doing good I think." It was a lie to his own ears but since he couldn't get a good read on her, he didn't want to throw their personal business away, specially not to the new girl. "Boss put her on an IOD for a few days."

"That's good to hear." Rojas smiled and broke off from him. Adam fully intended on going up those stairs un-detected but Platt always had other ideas and right now she was one of the little allies he had around him.

"Hey, Adam." Her tone was softer than usual but her heart was breaking for the man in front of her, a man she had grown to care deeply over the years. "How're you doing? I'm really sorry about everything. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah." He sighed. "Man plans God laughs."

"Mmhh." She could hear the sadness in his tone.

"You need anything, you let me know." She watched him go, an off the hand answer.

"Yeah, thanks." Adam wasn't much up for being in today but staying at home, thinking about Kim and how she didn't want anything to do with him would do nothing for him right now. He went to the locker room and when he came face to face with Jay so he turned around and went directly to his desk, looking for a distraction rather than having to talk to anyone about what was going on with him. It didn't take long before his wish was granted. He threw himself in the case, needing his head to stop working so his heart could stop hurting so damn much.

Rojas and Upton went back to see Sammy and Halstead and Atwater went to look for Salazar, leaving Adam with Voight to check the coffee shop out.

"Coffee shop's a bust. He could be half way to Mexico by now."

"Or he could still be here, chasing paper." Voight countered. "We keep canvassing. How's Kim?" He changed the subject.

"Ah she's pretty good I think. I'm trying to give her space, leave her alone." He slowed his pace

"How are you doing?" Hank asked Adam as he turned to stand facing him.

"You know, I don't think I've really processed it. I spent all this time trying to wrap my head around having a kid and I'm trying to wrap my head around not having a kid so I don't know." He answered honestly.

"If you need time off, you let me know."

"Thanks boss." Voight's radio sparked to life.

**5021, you got your ears on? **"5021, go with the traffic." Adam listened carefully, ready to get back to it

**Got a hit on your BOLO. The vehicle's is parked at the corner of 8771 South Polaski, patrol is on standby. **"We're close." He called into the radio. "Let's burry this prick." Voight took the wheel and Adam was more than happy to followed. "Voight, Intelligence." The two of them got out of the car, the patrol man waiting for them.

"It's right down there." He showed the car with a head move. "I walked by the car, it's empty." Voight looked around, thinking of his next move when he spotted their suspect.

"There's Salazar. Fan out." The three of them pulled their guns out their holsters just as Salazar spotted them, his feet moving into a run. Adam followed suit and his movements through the parked cars were fluid, keeping some innocent by-standards out of the line of fire. Voight and Adam planned their next move quietly and Adam went into position.

"Salazar, hands up." Adam yelled. "We're right on top of you, behind the red truck your next to. I'm moving up." He pushed forward, his gun raised as Voight moved on the other side, Salazar showing his hand, Voight's shot bringing him down. "Salazar drop the gun. Put the gun down or I'll put one in your head." Adam moved closer to Voight and the offender. "Don't you move." Adam crouched down and retrieved Salazar's weapon. They waited for the ambo to get to their location and Adam watched Salazar get loaded in under patrol's watch. "EMT says he's stabilized." They walked next to each other.

"Less paperwork." Voight said.

"Looks like he was getting a passport photo."

"Listen." They both stopped, facing each other now. "Why don't you get a statement from the store, make sure all our base covered understand?"

"Yeah." Adam walked back in the direction of the store as Rojas walked towards Voight. It wasn't long before the whole team was back at the district, wrapping up the case, everyone ready to go home.

Adam stepped out of the locker room as Kim came up the stairs into the bullpen, stopping Adam in his tracks. He didn't make eye contact with her, wanting to respect her need for space so he waited until she was in Voight's office before heading out himself.

Kim walked into Voight's office, both hands tucked safely in her coat pockets.

"Hey." He welcomed her with sad eyes of his own. "How're you feeling?" Her face was sporting cuts and bruises that were now a shade of brown mixed with purple.

"Great." Her voice was devoid of emotions.

"Have a seat." He waited for her to be in her chair before he spoke again. "Listen. We got a lead on that guy in Bridgeport that's moving Fentanyl.

"Jimmy Hasset?"

"That's the one."

"What's the lead?"

"Well it turns out his girlfriend works at a restaurant called Luna and the word is that she likes to drink too. Could be our access point too and I thought you could be a good person to take the lead on this." He could see it in her eyes that she was skeptical. "You know, just start working. Hang out at the restaurant or maybe grab a drink."

"Sarge, stop." She was already overwhelmed but wasn't going to show any sign of weakness. "I know what you're doing. And I appreciate it" She could no longer look him in the eye and Voight's heart broke for her, the feeling clear in his eyes.

"There's no rush, ok? Whenever you're ready." She stood up, still not looking in his eyes.

"Thank you." She whispered before leaving the office, Hank's heart going out to her as she left.

Adam drove back to his place and was surprised to see Kevin at his door with a twelve pack.

"Kev, brother." He sighed.

"We don't have to talk about it, I just came to grab a few beers with my best friend." Adam knew what Kevin was doing and he really appreciated it. She let himself inside, Kevin following behind.

"Give me ten, I have to shower." Kevin didn't answer but Adam simply grabbed a pair of clean underwear, sweats and a t-shirt before disappearing into the bathroom, returning fifteen minutes later, shoving his hands in his pocket. "Sorry about the mess." Adam pushed a few things out of the way on the living room table and the two of them sat down in front of a movie and simply drank a couple of beers in almost silence. "I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do." He finally broke the silence, more than thirty minutes later.

"Don't let her go down the rabbit hole, be there for her." Adam contemplated that for a few minutes.

"I'm trying not to push her, give her the space she's asking but I just wished that she'd open up to me about how she feels."

"You know Burgess, it's not that simple dog."

"I know." He sighed. "I know." They returned to their silent evening, Kevin staying for two more beers before he called it a night, leaving Adam alone with his own feelings to sort through. Adam knocked a few more beers in front of a basketball game before calling it a night.

He woke up the next morning, hoping for a little bit of clarity but after his second cup of coffee, he lost his shit and went to change, heading to the one place that he needed to be right now. He walked up the stairs to her building and knocked on Kim's door, waiting for an answer that wasn't coming.

"Kim, it's me. I know you're in there." Kim was lying down in her couch with a pillow clung to her chest. She closed her eyes, hoping he would take the hint. "I'm here Kim." She heard his hand press flat on the door and the sigh that escaped his lips. "I'm still right here Kim, whatever you need." He knew he couldn't do more than make her know that he was there for her no matter what but it was hard for him not to be able to live this loss with her. So, he stopped by every morning before going into the district only to receive the same silent treatment from Kim time and again. He hoped that when she was ready, she would reach out to. But the one thing he knew was that he was going to be there for her when she was ready to let him in. Days dragged into a week and Adam was starting to lose hope that she'd ever reach out to him when his phone rang from his pocket while he was still in the shower on the afternoon of his day off.

"Kim? Is everything okay?" He spoke into the receiver his hand still dripping wet. "He listened to her on the other end and a small smile spread on his lips. "Sure, I'll be there and I'll bring the food." He hung up and quickly got ready, the smile on his lips wider and the hope in his chest growing.

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**A/N: Alright so here it is. I hope you guys liked it and please take a few seconds to review before you go, your thoughts mean the world to me - Sarra**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who left a review on the previous chapter. Ok so I wanted to post the second and final part of this story before I go on vacation so that's why It was posted so quickly. Hope you guys will enjoy it...I wrote it before this week's episode aired.**

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Kim was fidgeting in her kitchen, her hands in an open drawer. Adam had come over about an hour ago with some food after she had called him, asking to see him. She had kept her distance from him since the miscarriage and for the first time since, she had extended an invitation, needing to get back to what they had before that all even happened. They were in a good place, their friendship something she missed the most.

"Kim, you okay in there?" Adam leaned over her couch, wondering what was taking her so long. He waited a few seconds, waiting for an answer that wasn't coming. "Darling?"

"Huh?" She closed the drawer, turning to look at him across from the kitchen.

"Are you okay?" He got up from the couch and walked tentatively towards her.

"Eeh, yeah, I'm fine." She forced a smile, leaning against the counter.

"It's me Kim, you don't have to put a front for me."

"I'm trying but it's hard." She admitted, looking at the floor, her right foot rubbing an invisible spot on her floor.

"I know that you asked for space and I want to respect that but I want to be there for you."

"I know." She looked up at him. "I want to let you in and I haven't really done that these past weeks."

"I know you're hurting Kim." He took a step forward. "It feels like your heart's been ripped out of your chest." He hadn't really talked about this to anyone because more than anything, he wanted to talk about it with Kim.

"But that's the thing. My heart's not the only one that's been ripped out. I've been shutting you out when you're hurting too." She trailed off. It was the first time that she was actually processing the loss in regards to Adam and it took her a long time to get there.

"Hey, it's okay." He took the few steps separated them and pulled her into his chest. "We're going to be okay." He kissed the top of her head. He could feel her body shaking from the tears that were wetting his shirt but he didn't care. She was letting him in for the first time in weeks and he wasn't going to throw the opportunity to be there for her, regardless of how he was feeling. "Come on, let's get you back in the couch." He guided her back to the living room and sat back down, pulling her into his side. They stayed silent like that for long minutes.

"Thanks." She whispered into the silence.

"I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." He was playing with the material of her sweater, his head on top of hers that was resting on his shoulder.

"It was hurting too much to go to you." She moved her head into his shoulder. "I felt like I let you down by not protecting the baby better." She mumbled into his shoulder.

"Hey, what's this?" He retreated from their embrace and took her by the arms, finding her eyes swimming in tears. His heart felt like it was in a vice, the pain in her voice, the blame not lying with her like she was obviously believing. "What happened was not your fault."

"Wasn't it?" She chocked up, the tears threatening to spill again. "I'm the one who insisted on working the case, I'm the one who didn't wait for back-up, it is my fault." She tried to pull herself away from the couch but Adam wouldn't let her pull away again.

"You saved a kid's life that night Kim. If you hadn't been there, she would have died." He was desperately trying to make her see reason. "She's someone's daughter and she's with her family thanks to you."

"But we lost our daughter."

"How do you know it was a girl?" He smiled softly at her. "Maybe it was a boy." He pushed a strand of hair that had fallen in her face behind her ear

"And we'll never get the chance to find out." She cried out, no longer able to contain her tears.

"We will, I promise that we will, some day." He ran the pads of his thumbs against her wet cheeks. "If there one thing that I'm completely and utterly sure of is that this baby brought us back together and I don't ever want to lose sight of that." He kissed her. It was the first time since that night where they had left together but it felt right. His love for her had never diminished and although they took different paths, they had an undeniable connection and he wasn't going to spend one-minute wondering what if or why they had gotten here but he wasn't running away anymore.

Kim's lips tingled when Adam's lips pressed against hers. The kiss was soft but she knew what it meant. Adam wasn't giving up on her even if he was hurting but it was promise to move forward together.

"How are you so sure about all of this?" She whispered as their lips parted.

"Cuz you're like the best thing that I've got going on right now." He smiled. The words fell deep into her heart, making her smile, the same way it had made her smile the first time he had said them to her.

"Ok." She leaned up and pushed herself on her toes to kiss her, her right hand cupping his cheek.

"Ok. Come on, let's go back to that movie we started." She followed him back to the couch with no objection and they simply sat down, cuddled together and they watched the movie until Kim fell asleep against Adam. He turned the tv off and extracted himself from her before scooping her up in his arms and bringing her to her bed where he knew she'd be more comfortable. He stripped her of her pants and pulled the blanket over her, placing a kiss to her forehead. He was just about to leave when he felt her hand on his wrist.

"Stay."

"Sure." He stripped of his jeans and plaid shirt and slipped under the covers with her, letting her drape herself all over his body. He stroked her hair and the arm that was over his abs until he fell asleep, things finally lighter for them now that they had shown their feelings.

Kim woke up first to Adam who was snoring lightly. Knowing him so well, she knew he was in a deep sleep so she slipped out of the covers and into his flannel shirt, heading for the kitchen to make breakfast for the two of them. She pulled things out of her fridge at random, knowing that Adam would probably be starving when he woke up, he always was. She made pancakes for herself, moving around to her left, needing something in the last drawer. When she opened it, her eyes landed on what she had put in there the previous day and had been so nervous about. She smiled, took what she needed out of it and returned to cooking.

Adam stirred in bed and smiled. He always loved waking up in this bed because he always knew deep down that he belonged there. When he turned to his side, he found Kim's spot empty but he could hear her humming from the kitchen. He pulled the covers away and found his pants, slipping in them before reaching for his shirt that was n o longer where he had left it the night before. He knew that meant she was wearing it and that made him smirk. He followed the sound of her voice and found her in the kitchen. As he had thought, she was wearing nothing but his flannel shirt but she looked sexy as hell like that.

"Morning." He leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Morning." Kim smiled as she turned around, a spatula in hand.

"I seem to be missing my shirt." He cocked his head to the side with a smile.

"Uh yeah, about that." She stuttered, feeling heat creeping up on her cheeks.

"It looks better on you." He pushed himself off the counter and a hand against her hip, pulling her into him. How'd you sleep?" He looked down at her.

"Really good. Thanks for staying last night."

"Whatever you need, I'm there." He ran his hand against her arm. "Need some help?"

"I'm good, it's almost done." She turned back to the stove to finish making breakfast. He pulled plates out and made coffee while she finished up. They moved around the kitchen like a well-oiled machine and the domesticity was looking good on the both of them, Kim feeling more at peace than the previous night. They ate breakfast in light conversation and comfortable silence, Kim's leg pulled against her chest at the kitchen table.

"Where's your head at darling?" Adam reached across the table to take her hand in his, pulling her out of the spot she was looking at over his shoulder.

"I'm good." She smiled at him. "I actually have something for you." She got up and went back to the kitchen pulling an envelope from the drawer closest to the dining room.

"For me?" He didn't think they were anywhere close to being there but she was setting the pace right now.

"Sort of a peace offering." She gave it to him but he didn't make a move to open it.

"Peace for what?" He looked at her quizzically.

"For pushing you away these past weeks." She looked down, poking at the remaining food in her plate.

"It's fine Kim." He looked in the envelope and saw Hawks tickets.

"I figured we could go together, start things slow, could be fun." She looked at him and smiled, a smile on his lips too.

"I'd love that." They finished breakfast and Adam insisted on doing the dishes. Kim watched him from her perch on the counter, having been told under no uncertain terms that she wouldn't help in any way. He was cleaning them with attention, aware of her eyes on his every move.

"I'll head in the shower." She hopped down the counter and ran a hand against his arm. "I'll give your shirt back in a little bit.

"Take all the time you need." He poured himself another cup of coffee and grabbed the newspaper, finding the sports section and counting his blessings. He would take whatever she was willing to give him if it meant they moved forward together.

Kim let the water wash over her body. It was warm and she lathered up her body and washed her hair, hoping it would freshen up her thoughts. She was happy about Adam sitting in her kitchen but they still had a long way to go and hopefully they could get back on stronger footing, their loss bringing them together in ways that nothing else could. She leaned against the bathroom door and watched Adam read the paper, a cup of coffee to his lips. The sight made her smile and she was glad she had made the call. Adam sensed her presence and turned in his seat.

"Did the shower help?" He noticed that she had his shirt on her again, paired with yoga pants and her hair piled on her head in a lose bun.

"A lot." She was about to talk again but he cut her off.

"You can keep it." He smiled at her. "You've always liked that one."

"Thanks."

"So, any plans tonight?" She walked back towards him.

"Molly's with Kev, come with us?" She had been invisible at Molly's these past weeks.

"Sure." She needed to get back out in the real world and with her best friend and Adam, their status not clear to her yet, was the perfect way to do it.

"Alright. I will go back home and change and I will see you, tonight." He stood, cupping her cheeks and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Thanks again for last night." They looked in each other's eyes.

"Always." He pulled away from her and slipped into his jacket, walking out the door, happy of where they were finally heading.

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**A/N: So this is my idea of them slow moving forward together again. I really hope you guys enjoyed it and please take a few seconds to leave a review before you go. - Sarra**


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